Timid, Shy, and Introverted

7 Mar 2019

My oldest son is timid, shy, and introverted in ways only a parent would pick up on. I see him struggle emotionally with small things. The fear of embarrassment or not wanting someone to really see him for who he is, but everyday I see him and I see him struggle. He is only 5 but when I get to see him be free and unafraid it makes my heart sing.

Participation

As parents, my husband and I struggled to find solutions for him. He is super sensitive to sounds and big situations. When he plays, he typically plays by himself or only allows himself into a situation if he can control it. When participating in activities, he won’t because he say’s he doesn’t know how.

For example, I signed him up for tee ball, an option out of 3 I offered him. He didn’t participate at all the first 3 out of the 6 practices, but on the 4th practice he walked the bases, with his fingers in his mouth. He still would not pick a ball up off the floor and throw it. When I asked him about tee ball, he would respond he didn’t know how. I worked with him on throwing things and by the last practice he threw a ball. He did not interact with the other kids but at least he went, after bribing him.

Motivation

I used to believe he was challenged by situations and it made him so uncomfortable that he would melt down. Then I spoke to a parent, who also is a teacher, and she said it is motivation. He is more motivated by what you bribed him with than what he is currently facing. It is true! I have to as a parent figure out what motivates him to help him deal with the anxiety he is feeling in a situation.

For example, he wanted to go sledding after dinner but wouldn’t eat. My answer was eat all your dinner and you can go out sledding. He did and we did. While out there sledding, I noticed something. He is fearless. Going down backwards on the sled and falling off and laughing at himself. He wasn’t timid, shy, and introverted.

Realizaton

I realized each moment we have with our children allows us to compare with other situations. He isn’t timid, shy, and introverted, he just needs to be taught.

Category:: Cheryl Esposito, Life with Kids, Uncategorized | Comments: none

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